Monday, July 31, 2006

it's SUPER Shayt!

i'm quite famous for my diet. it's mainly composed of beer (regular, not LIGHT), all types of shooters and other crazy concoctions (too many nowadays...it's impossible to remember)...and when it comes to actually digesting something, it's a gastronomic mix of every cuisine imaginable...or more like available (in cebu). filipino, chinese, mexican, italian, japanese and french, mainly. yeah, we have that in CEBU you overbearing motherfuckers who think cebu's just the pits. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

seriously, i eat a lot. and i pay the price of gluttony every single time i purge. wait...isn't gluttony a mortal sin? ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....interestinnnnnnggg.

i eat like a horse coz food's always a good thing, know what i'm saying? and man am i carnivore. i think vegans are crazy for missing one of life's greatest pleasures...a HUGE hunk of meat seared in perfection. protein from tofu my ass! i want steak! bigmacs! chicken! fuck calories and cholesterol...i'm PRO-MEAT, PRO-GREASE, PRO-FAT! so obviously, i was never a big fan of salads and everything that doesn't cluck, moo, or makes any kind of natural sound. i LIKE them, but i can live without them. but man, was i wrong...

y'see, when guys get together, it's not just about sex and girls that we talk about contrary to popular belief. we talk about highly-intellectual things too...oil price hikes, investments, stock market (LOL! AS IF!), drunk and deep takes on love and relationships...drugs, and shit. oh yeah...LITERAL shit. turd...poop...crap...TAE...whatever you'd like to call it. we all have it. funny how rarely anybody talks about it. we die if we don't let it out...literally. it is one very underrated subject that really should be given more attention...and I AM GOING TO VOICE OUT MY OWN CONTRIBUTION to the future scientific, cultural, and psychological investigations, evaluations, study and projects on this VERY neglected subject.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...MAY I PRESENT...


THE SUPER SHIT

who was that again who said "a picture could say a thousand words"? so far, all i've gotten were one to three...mainly, "YUCKS", "EWWW", AND "OH MY GOD"...AHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHIHI!

damn...vegetables really ARE good for you! i'm telling ya people...as huge this is, it wasn't painful at all...(and i've never been bumfucked before. never have, never will...no matter how hot the girl is, and purrrs me into "trying new things together"..."testing sexual capacity")

newfound favorite word: FIBER

so you see kids, the next time your mom tells ya to eat your vegetables, DO IT!

Saturday, July 29, 2006

prodigal son to NIKE

i have nike issues. i used to be one of their biggest patrons. not just nike, adidas, kswiss as well... but living in cebu has drastically changed my take on athletic shoes...coz everybody fucking wears them ALL THE TIME. and i mean everywhere. the mall, coffee shops, church, fastfood chains, restaurants (both fine, AND cheap dining), clubs, EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!! it came to a point i got sick of my own rubber shoes collection that i started wearing just sandals...or slippers. but then again, that's the one thing i love about Cebu. people don't care whether you're drabbed in designer clothing. now THAT, i totally could live with forever. but unfortunately, when you've got a lifestyle wherein most, if not all the people who revolves around you (and since Cebu is friggin too small that everybody knows EVERYBODY) have learned to become as conscious and picky bout how OTHER people dress Manila-style...it's hard man. it really is. i'm not against it. i think it's great knowing that good ol' Cebu is finally stepping up and growing...it has added more pressure on small people like me to look decent. not even good, just decent.

but bye2x paul smith sneakers and vuitton sandals (which by the way, are too heavy on the feet)....HELLO AGAIN NIKE! i miss you baby! BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i want these...i don't care how you snobs condemn me for wearing rubber shoes again. like you won't drool over this you pretentious fools!

THE NIKE AIR ZOOM BOB

another beautiful result of the famous Nike TTs, TINKER, AND TOBIE. i don't care if my mother officially named me "dickhead","asswipe", "gaylord", "tinker(bell)" or "tobie(wobie)"...if i have creative design images slideshowing in my head every waking day to be able to get paid MILLIONS of dollars for it...then screw cool names (and being constantly teased GAY)!!! i wanna TINKER your TOBIE when i grow up! BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!!

"The Hatfield brothers Tinker and Tobie are Nike's greatest collaborative effort since signing Tiger Woods. Tinker Hatfield is a VP at Nike, whilst Tobi , who joined his brother at the sports giant in 1990 is a senior engineer. Together the brothers have created some of Nike's more memorable releases. From Air Jordan's, through to award winning spikes on the sole of track shoes, the Hatfields have had a hand in more than 20 Olympic gold medals, through their ingenuous shoe design. This is a creative team who came from very different paths to meet at a career challenging cross road which has proven to be their Golden Mile .
The Hatfield's brothers work is currently being highlighted by Olympian Vonetta Flowers, who's Air Zoom Bob shoes have been featuring on recent Torino coverage. The shoe reflects the brothers progressive designs. Sleek and seamles
" -Andy G.

SLEEK AND SEAMLESS........THAT IS NEVER GOING TO LEAVE MY MIND UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON A PAIR!

now only problem left is how to actually acquire them. PAGING BOOMBOOM YOU ARE IN CEBU. if you guys know, PM me ASAP!

Friday, July 28, 2006

the coker choker

i'm not big on product endorsements. i just can't seem to force myself into believing all these celebrities raving about a certain product knowing that they get shoved millions of dollars just to smile, be pretty, and read those idiot boards with the product's tagline. but i'd be damned if i didn't agree to endorsing THIS baby...(like anyone would actually ask me to...)
AHHHHHHHHHHHH...THE COKE PENDANT. ain't she a beaut? what reputable partyboy AND girl wouldn't want this? it's cute, petite and stores treats...and it doesn't bite, scratch, and scream (well, depends on your dosage *GRIN*) like all the other cute, petite beauties we're all used to. ;-) and most importantly, it's discrete...HAHAHAHAHA! it's really "just jewelry" *COUGH*. it's simple, it's elegant (unlike the usual tarnished silver ones that could be bought at your nearest flea market) and comes complete with the ever important baby spoon. *SNICKER* great deal of WARNING though...excessive use may...no wait, make that DEFINITELY collapse all of your remaining nasal cavity. that is, of course...if you actually use it as something else other than (again) just jewelry. AHIHIHIIHI

i'm no coke boy...by preference. and neither am i a big fan of yellow gold. but there are just some things in this world that are totally worth the exception.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

deep reason for temporary suspension

i'm on "deep and emote" mode right now. i've been feeling like crap lately and i did something stupid. i didn't hurt anyone...else, but myself. so, for the greater good...i've decided to stop going out...for a month. 1 whole month. no night outs, no latenight coffee with friends, no travel. just tv, the joys of the internet (and yeah, loads of pornographic downloading included! BWAHAHAHA), DVDs, all forms of reading material (which again still includes porn) because well, damn i need to rest!

it still won't affect my blogging schedules though. it doesn't mean that i've finally decided to let my body and mind rest after years of fun and fornication...AHIHIIHIHIHIHI..., does not mean that i'm getting more matured and have overcome laziness, coz i still haven't. baby steps man, baby steps. i'm already suffering withdrawal symptoms and to think i only decided less than 2 minutes ago.

besides, the REAL reason behind this whole "not going out" thing was brought about earlier after dinner. i took a shower, and while drying, i couldn't find anything to wear.

what? women aren't the only ones who are feeling society's pressure to look good (in order to feel good)! you don't have to be queer (which is always the issue whenever a guy "takes care of himself" ESPECIALLY HERE IN CEBU!) to be aware of how you look. :-P you GUYS really should stop judging others so much. afterall, we have our hair cut more often than our girlfriends. :-P and don't give me that crap that you've never had a manicure or a pedicure in your life you pretentious and defensive fool! :-) hmmm....i wonder why you're so homophobic? hell, we really should prove to them girls that we're secured enough with our own thing to not fume everytime a person who just happens to be gay talks to you. c'mon guys, you know you're better than that, right?

wait...now I'M starting to sound gay. BAHHHH WHO CARES?!? nobody does. hell, i don't mind. why would you? BWAHAHAHAHHAA.

now be useful and tell me where to buy decent clothes here in Cebu. i've been everywhere and couldn't seem to find anything decent. i trust CC, IF YOU'RE READING THIS gimme a hand here... oh yeah...AYALA! ahhhhhhhhhhh! now i know why i can't find anything anywhere...coz they're all already closed when i wake up and get out of the house. DUHHHHH...HI....DUHHHH...MY...UHH...NAME IS...DUHH...BIG MOOSE!!

BOOMBOOM OUT!

Sunday, July 23, 2006

what da...??!

who the hell is this lee wong dook guy and why are you guys going bonkers over him? i had an unsettling surprise when i just read tt's blog. is that the new trend now? guys with long and almost-impossible-to-say-right names? coz if it IS, be sure to see me running around town yelling out to the public and calling myself some made-up chinese name. i'm going to go google some cool chinese names. i have to be careful though, i don't want someone calling me by my new name and giggling right after coz it literally means "sweet and sour pork" or "lemon chicken" or something...

boomboom out and will be back as the new chow yun fat! watch out girlies! BWAAAAAAAAAHHHHAHAHAHA

Saturday, July 22, 2006

groan my head

TT what was that you said again bout hangovers? i can't remember a single thing you said then. i was too busy being me and as usual, disregarding everything that you said that didn't have the words, "sex", "booze", and "drugs". i'm a die-hard rockstar wannabe, and i'm not asking for any apologies. hehe. say what? jerk? who me? awww...thanks babe.;) seriously though, i need a good pound of cure for my head. obviously, i got a little overboard on the drinking last night. hey, it's friday night, gimme a break. i deserve every single minute of last night. and i didn't even bother to blog like i said i would. i know i should, but i didn't. but again, GIMME A BREAK. HAHAHARHARHAR. you know you still love me. so tell me already. what was that B THING i'm supposed to take once i wake up? beroca? did i spell that right? ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE WILL YOU!?!!

...or better yet, come here and make me feel better. ;) HEHEHEHHEHEHE. and CC! read that post on the borrrberri issue. hahaha. i thought that was BT's story? atay CP went to the salon again??? HAHAHAHA. there really is a big possibility he might be one of those closet gay guys. shit i need a manicure, and a pedicure. haircut too....DEFINITELY a massage for christ's sake and a hair spa...ERRRRRR...ok CP i take back what i said bout the beign gay bit. we's manly men. BWAHAHAHAHA.

WE'RE MEN, WE'RE MEN IN TIGHTS! LALALALLALALALALALLALA! --Robin Hood and his Men in Tights.

Friday, July 21, 2006

robosapien v2

i seriously need to get that new ROBOSAPIEN V2. besides, i already broke my old one...ok, my nephews did. so in account, my sister HAS to replace the one her sonS broke...with the latest (and not to mention more expensive) one...or should i just wait for the V3 that's going to be released on 2007? i know, i'll have her buy me the v2, and by the time comes they release the V3, i'll let the kiddies play with it so they can break it AGAIN. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! evil brother on the rise!!!!!!!!

seriously, i was browsing through YOUTUBE earlier, and screw individuality in this highly commercialized world we're in...I AM SOLD!



if you're bored and loaded enough, WHY THE HELL NOT?? BURN THOSE BILLS PEOPLE! i don't want anyone borrowing mine, that's why you have to go get your own toy. remember when you were 6 and your mom kept on telling you "it's always better to share your toys and spread love and happiness all over"? well, we don't own hallmark, and besides, my toys then weren't as delicate and as cool as this! for crying out loud these kids nowadays have no idea how lucky they are compared to us back in the day...TSK!

for more details on this baby that i can NEVER give you...check out these sites. all the rest are crap, mainly because there are more techie words than pics. ahihihii.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

ladies' night at club pump

dropped by club pump earlier to meet up with an old friend. i've been away from cebu for a while, and needed to do some catching up to do with the friends. i didn't stay long. it was ladies' night. whew...hormones were ALL OVER the place! girls were getting it on, and you could see ALL the guys (me included) drooling on some, spitting on most. bwahaha! fact of life man...fact of life. some are hot, and most are just NOT. period. unfortunately, it's the fuglies who think they're all that. and the hotties aren't easy to deal with either. they know they're worth the begging, and they milk it for all it's worth. unfortunately, girls are smart. smarter than us, actually. no matter how much we try to be in control of everything, they usually got us wrapped around their little fingers. we think we're the playahs, when it's US being played. saddest part bout it is that we KNOW we're being played, and we allow it. hell, we actually luv it. bwahaha. kudos to you girlies everywhere. thanks for making life more challenging every single night we think we're going to get lucky...and end up going home alone. tsk! BAH I DON'T CARE! I LOVE WOMEN! now all i need to figure out is how to make THEM love ME back! HAHAHAHA!!!

here are some camera phone shots of club pump. those damn blue lights make me sleepy. BAH who cares? i go there coz it's cheap and it's ALWAYS packed. besides, it's all bout sight-seeing!
not exactly the classiest crowd in the world, but it's great for cheap booze and cheap laughs.

the owners are cooler than hell, and that's enough reason for me to give this place a thumb up.
let's pump it...LOUDER (and most importantly, FASTER hahaha)!!!!!!


i'm definitely going back to this place soon and do a proper update.
for now, there's leftover gambas with my name on it.

blog or gambas?


sorry, it's gotta be the latter. :P

Saturday, July 15, 2006

say oohlala

boomboomboom!! the boy wonder has landed!!!

first advice to y'all...when wearing skirts anywhere public, do try to remember to wear your knickers after making out at the parking lot. and when you decide to live la vida loca (fuck you all who likes ricky martin...and no, i dont have his CD -defensive-)...before getting wasted, ask someone to remind you never to dance on top of a ledge/table/speaker/bar or anything elevated. coz you never know if some wacko who just so happens to be loaded enough to buy a brand new digital camera every now and then decides to take your photo...at a different angle.

case in point:

photo credits: BT. i'm tellin' ya people...don't steal BT's photos. she's crazy. ask me for her email and she'll be more than happy to share 'em with ya if you just ask. and call her "ma'am". she likes that. BWAHAHAHA. kidddddinngg BT.